Life after Facebook

I don’t want to pretend that I came to the decision to leave Facebook after much deliberation and after carefully weighing the pros and cons, the privacy concerns and shallowness of many of the posts and the wasted time with the usability and opportunities of this networking site.

It was much simpler than that: My account was deleted by Facebook. – Don’t ask me why, because they won’t even tell me. As this is now the second time that this has happened to me, I can’t be bothered to reopen an account again.

So in one day, I have lost around 600 “friends”. That’s the equivalent of two fully packed jumbo jets colliding in mid-air and leaving nobody alive. And based on how neglectingly I used to treat my friends that refused to join Facebook, I will soon be forgotten by most of them, while they will continue to follow each others’ lives, share their latest photos, send event invitations and work on their virtual farms. I won’t even be able to track some people down outside of Facebook with whom I have been in regular contact (and would like to continue to be), nor will people easily find me who will try to do so (there are unfortunately too many people called “Andreas Moser” in this world, rendering a google search pointless). I will miss some people and I will miss some of the features, conceded.

But I refuse to sign up again. Living without Facebook seems to me like the 21st century equivalent of the reclusiveness once sought in the Judean desert, a monastery in Tibet, or in the forests of Massachussetts. I will try to cherish my newly gained mental freedom, my additionally available hours and the fact of no longer being exposed to status messages about what somebody is having for breakfast or watching on TV.

The only drawback is that Facebook drove quite a lot of visitors to this blog, and part of this traffic is now missing. So if you want to be nice and help out, share this link or any other of my blog posts that you like on your Facebook page regularly. Thank you very much!

Andreas Moser

“I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” (Henry David Thoreau in “Walden”)

About Andreas Moser

I am a lawyer in Germany, with a focus on international family law, migration and citizenship law, as well as constitutional law. My other interests include long walks, train rides, hitchhiking, history, and writing stories.
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32 Responses to Life after Facebook

  1. Potkin says:

    where is your interview with Aljazeera? I hope you recorded it

    • How could I have recorded it? It was live! And you know I am not good with technology…
      But I’ll e-mail them and ask if they can e-mail it as a file. Thanks again for establishing the contact!

  2. Ah, here you are! I’ve been wondering. I think facebook sometimes goes on random culling sessions just to annoy the hell out of us all. Sorry you wont be coming back – even though I think we’ve had a maximum of two conversations in open air and, er, none on fb, but – well – it was always good to know there was at least one other ‘foreigner’ involved in the Iranian Green Movement in London. May be see you at one of the forthcoming demonstrations. Enjoy your life sans facebook. There are indeed many AMs but you all look different. It wasn’t that hard to find you.
    v. best
    Claudia

  3. ReiterRoman says:

    Da mögen Sie Recht haben ein langweiliges Portal Facebook,angekommen und schnell wieder abgehackt,ist etwa einmal eine kleine Differenz in einer Stimmung bist Du sofort gesperrt von deinen Freunden….usw.Zu dem Thema an keinen Gott zu glauben,abwarten …….was das Leben zueigen wird können dazu.

  4. I consciously deleted my Facebook account just for that reason: to become a recluse. Not that I don’t have any contact with people anymore. I just communicate more with the people that I care about and focus on other matters. I never really thought about it in an ascetic sort of perspective.

    Good for you. I’m glad to not be the only person on the outskirts of social-networking sites.

    Also, a Henry David Thoreau quote? I love you (in the casual, personally removed sense).

  5. I enjoyed this piece. Personally, I had that same feeling about social networking when I had a Myspace page. I felt a lot of the conversations were shallow and the social aspect was more like a popularity contest. Now, I have a Facebook and Twitter account, but for more reasons other than “linking up” with old friends. Not only do I use these websites to reconnect with friends, but I use them to bring traffic towards my blog (like you did) and I use them to promote other activitiesI am involved in. I really believe that online social networking can really be beneficial, or hurtful, depending on what you use it for and how often you use it.

  6. Posky says:

    I agree with a lot of people putting too much emphasis on their social networking life but it has also seemed sort of trendy for people just abandon their facebook account and act like they’ve done something impressive. That said, there is something very zen about cutting away the cyber weight comes with social networking.

    All and all, I’m not sure how I feel about it.

  7. Mellati says:

    Sometimes i think that facebook is absolutely a waste of time but i need it just to connect with family and very close friends. I use myspace for my so called…. not so close friends ;)
    I like your style of putting words together~Writing.

    Heart,
    Mellati

  8. esteldreaming says:

    I enjoyed reading this piece a lot. Sometimes I want to delete all of my prescence from the social networking sites like myspace and facebook, on a few occasions I have come very close to it too. My reason for it is very simple, it’s very annoying, most of the things people post on there as news are very annoying, the way they post those things, the way they butcher the English language is annoying too. For most people it has nothing to do with connecting with friends just to show off and be well annoying, but now again something or someone interesting shows up. I should probably just delete 96% of people I have on facebook.

  9. StewieJT says:

    I’ve no idea how to even get to 600 friends! I saw somewhere that the average is around the 130 mark, so I’m above that! Have you seen my (not serious) classification of FB friends? http://thislittlethingcalledlife.com/2010/09/29/facebook-friends/

    Shall we start a FB group to have your account re-instated? (kidding) It’s really hard to delete your own account, so I wonder where yours went…

    • Thanks! If I will ever miss it, I’ll come back to your offer of starting that group :-)

      Not being on facebook shows you who really cares because you don’t get invited to events automatically just because of being somebody’s facebook-“friend”. Now if somebody wants to invite me, they have to call me or send an e-mail. Needless to say, I have much more free time now.

  10. Jenny Swain says:

    Great blog. I am the marketing guy for Jenny Swain but check out my personal blog:
    http://www.marcinmadison.wordpress.com

  11. Mo says:

    hey!!
    really u r once of a lifetime :-). “Life after facebook” is such a great article that i felt it expressed 99.9999% of what i wanna say after those long days and nights of facebooking.

    Tschuss facebook..n..please andreas..welcome me a new friend ;-)

    Mo.

  12. Louis says:

    Hello Andreas:

    I followed your link from the CNN article hoping to find you bash & batter FB after they deleted your account.

    But unfortunately, I ended up being disappointed. Well, not quite for a fact but I truly admire the way you’ve expressed your (own) feelings instead of swinging left-right-and-center about your recent predicament with FB.

    Personally, I prefer blogging on Blogger or Tumblr instead of putting up frequent updates about my (personal) life on FB. In my opinion, there’s an absence of intellectualism & originality but of course that’s my own opinion. I guess people that are regulars on FB have their own reasons for being there.

    I’m not on WordPress but I’ve bookmarked your feed for updates.

    Oh, one last thing! You have an impressive Resume’.

    Best, Louis :)

  13. Gregg says:

    I read this line in your blog: “So in one day, I have lost around 600 “friends”. That’s the equivalent of two fully packed jumbo jets colliding in mid-air and leaving nobody alive. “…and couldn’t go on.

    you got deleted from an internet sight, and in an extreme over-exaggeration you compare what has befallen you to the literal death of 600 people?

    Me thinks you think too highly of yourself – but just “slightly”.

  14. A great article about facebook! I do not think that facebook ist useful for the mankind, too! I even think that much damage is done in society through facebook. It can´t be healhty to have 100, 200 or more friends. It is simply not realistic and i don´t believe, that a person may be interested in what all this friends are doing. It is simply absurd!

  15. Pingback: Loneliness doesn’t kill, people do. | Publish or Perish – Andreas Moser's Blog

  16. michathecook says:

    Great article….
    If we are honest to ourself we ll find 100 reasons to use facebook
    and
    another 100 reasons why we dont need it.
    i am one of the people who grow up in the pre facebook times and we wrote letters or meet in person. this was kind of great. probably the personal connection in RL is one Day the Key Killer Argument agains using FB any longer.

  17. Pingback: My Facebook Page | Publish or Perish – Andreas Moser's Blog

  18. You won’t believe it, but I now actually have a Fan Page on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Andreas-Moser/122549654509561

  19. Wow, never heard of Facebook doing that. I have thought of leaving it several times and I really might do it now that their new “timeline” is coming in…there’s just always that feeling that you’re going to miss something, although I’ve been reading all the updates with a critical eye now and it’s all pretty rubbish really. But good for knowing what school friends are doing – but how much do I really care? Something to think about.

  20. Enoch says:

    Were you posting a lot of offensive things on Facebook?

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  22. Ryan says:

    Do you never feel lonely? As an only child living in a obscure village, being alone is the one thing i spent my whole life as, and i never got used to it. I can only envy you.

  23. ceruleanstarshine says:

    Reblogged this on Cerulean Starshine and commented:
    As soon as they send me my “archive” of content (that I haven’t manually deleted already..) I am going to be joining the revolution of people who want to live without Facebook. Read this post, it’s worth it.

  24. Pingback: Don’t write me on Facebook! | The Happy Hermit

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