Why North Korea is Mourning

The world wondered why North Koreans were weeping, crying, sobbing and mourning the late dictator Kim Jong Il‘s death on 17 December 2011. After all, he had oppressed and starved them for 17 years.

See for yourself how North Koreans were crying their eyes out:

(It’s really hard to watch all 3 minutes of it, isn’t it?)

With the help of a very elaborate psychological and scientific process, I have been able to learn what North Koreans really thought:

“It was so embarrassing to lose 0-7 to Portugal in the last World Cup.”

“The whole world will ridicule us for this show.”

“The Arab countries have a real spring. We don’t even have spring rolls.”

“Oh no, not another chubby Kim. How will we be able to tell them apart in history class?”

(On a different note: Watching the above video, it seems that the days after Kim Jong Il’s death in December 2011 would have been the perfect window of opportunity for South Korea to liberate North Korea. It looks as if all the North’s soldiers were so overwhelmed by grief that they could not have put up an organised defence. A missed opportunity.)

About Andreas Moser

Travelling the world and writing about it. I have degrees in law and philosophy, but I'd much rather be a journalist, a spy or a hobo.
This entry was posted in North Korea, Politics and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Why North Korea is Mourning

  1. Hoo Sze Ling says:

    That puts a real spin on it! :)

  2. “Occupy” is a symptom of unhappiness. I don’t see any “Occupy Pyongyang” movement in North Korea. No hippies there!

    • Maybe a system of spying on the population by the secret police coupled with a system of gulags in a country without independent courts or rule of law is enough to suppress any wish to express dissatisfaction with the economic or political system?

      • Hillary says:

        Yeah, that would also explain all the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. North Korea is pretty much the only country I can think of that you might actually be a traitor if you don’t put on an emotional show after Dear Leader dies.

  3. Fine if you are happy to be satisfied with a simplistic explanation. No matter how much spin you place on it, if the North Koreans were that dissatisfied with their leadership, they would vote them out.

    • There are no free elections in North Korea. The ballot paper contains one name, the name of the ruling party’s candidate. If you want to cross it out, you have to do so openly. Who would dare to do that in a country that sends political dissenters to internment camps where many of them die?

  4. Remember that’s what they used to say about East Germany, and yet Germans have voluntarily voted for East Germany to run the whole country.

    • In which election?

      • When Merkel went from being part of the government of East Germany to being Chancellor of unified Germany. They play the long game.

    • Nobody “voted for East Germany to run the whole country”. It was a narrow vote in 2005 for the Conservative Party which happened to be led by someone from the East. This was 16 years after the fall of the Berlin Wall.
      The Socialist Party (which is the real remainder of the former rulers of East Germany) is not doing quite so well in Germany as a whole.

      I might not have the patience to reply to any of your comments, but children, please don’t learn history from “My Mate Joe Chip”.

  5. Jack Parsons says:

    “Liberate North Korea”. Good lord. NK is a starving country. NK is a refugee bomb. SK and China sit next to saying “don’t explode don’t explode don’t explode”.

    • North Korea is mainly starving because of mismanagement, not because no food can grow there.
      Providing enough food to survive is actually not that expensive, even if a large part of North Korea’s population might need this assistance at first. Probably the money that goes to NK’s nuclear programme now would be enough. And SK will have a peace dividend too.
      South Koreans will also be happy to help because (1) they are all Koreans and (2) to avoid the refugee exodus.

      • according to the recently made documentary “North Korea-Children of the Secret State”, farmers are forced to grow poppies for opium production on some farms

  6. I couldn’t watch the whole video… Because honestly I was just laughing too hard! The only reason I could see them being sad for would be if their new “supreme leader” was a worse dictator. Which, honestly, is probably true…

  7. Pingback: My mate Joe Chip asks: is Angela Merkel a Manchurian? « 6th Proletarian Anarcho-Lotto-Syndicate

  8. Pingback: Why are New Jersey and Vermont in the Axis of Evil? | The Happy Hermit

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