The “Barbie Dreamhouse Experience Berlin” opened today. Guess who showed up for opening day? Exactly: FEMEN, the women who give feminism a good name. They criticised that Mattell, the company behind Barbie, has “turned a piece of plastic into a god for millions of girls from all over the world who now seek only to imitate plastic shapes and stupidity and absurdity of conduct” and protested with a Barbiecue (FEMEN’s pun, not mine).

But, FEMEN, isn’t it ironic to protest against the image that girls have to be thin, pretty and pink by sending a thin, half-naked girl in a short pink skirt? In any case, we like your sense for irony and are looking forward to more of your actions!

(Source: FEMEN) 

Well, this was definitely better than the film which had no pie in it at all.

Having grown up in Germany, I had Little Red Riding Hood (or rather “Rotkäppchen”), dodgeball and of course Kinder surprise eggs in my childhood. I didn’t have any assault rifles, sadly. But maybe that’s why I could walk to school alone, there were no fences or guards around the school, and if I ever came home half a day late, my parents weren’t overly worried. Also, I was never worried about one of my classmates overreacting and blowing me to pieces.

Feminism, as seen by academics:

Feminism, as seen by men:

I am doing that already:

UN, FAO and world hunger, you are welcome for my help!

Onil and Pedro Castro, brothers of Ariel Castro

Castro brothers (not innocent):

Fidel and Raul Castro, dictators

I looks to me like Guantanamo is already rather closed with all its fences and cells and guards and barbed wire and lack of access and communication. In fact it is so closed that even those whom the US government deems innocent aren’t released. How much more do people want to close it? And why?

It gets more confusing when those who approve of this eternal detention without due process rally around the cry of “Keep Guantanamo open”.

As I pointed out, Guantanamo is not open. It is the most closed off place in the Western hemisphere. When I read the arguments of the “Keep Guantanamo open” people, it seems that they don’t want to open up Guantanamo in the least bit, they rather want to keep it as closed as it ever has been.

This mix-up of words confuses me terribly in all these debates.

My proposal? “Open Guantanamo” for all prisoners who have not been charged and who won’t be tried in a court. Let them go. If you think that they might be dangerous, put some surveillance on them.

Useless converter:

My most favourite character in literature is Burma Jones

Sadly, I don’t remember much of the dialogue, except for the exclaiming “Whoa!” which accompanied many of Burma Jones’ sentences, his mispronunciations like “po-lice” and “a-ward”, comparing the work at the bar to work “on a plantation” as well as the messed-up grammar and syntax. If you have A Confederacy of Dunces at hand, please add a few of his quotes in the comments below to give other readers an impression of the style. If you haven’t, go and get a copy. You will enjoy it!

Despite its literary success, A Confederacy of Dunces has not yet been turned into a movie. Since this week, I know who could play Burma Jones very well:

(Charles Ramsey, who helped rescue three kidnapped girls in Cleveland, Ohio on 6 May 2013)

That’s exactly how Burma Jones sounds in the novel and how I imagined him!

But there is one exception:

If you are ever in China and you want to get to the top of Hua Shan, you might meet a monk who will tell you “I know a shortcut. Trust me!” - You should neither trust nor follow him, because this is the path he will lead you along:

In winter, you can even have a snowball fight on the way.

Never ever in my life would I even get close to this plank path. I will rather take a long detour, even if it will take days.

When watching this video, I get physically sick – and shocked when at the end of it, the guy says “OK, I should finally use two hands” before turning off the camera.