You want more Surveillance? You can have it.

I just read this:

A new CNN/Time … Poll indicates four in ten Americans say they are willing to give up some civil liberties to fight terrorism.

Only 38% favor expanding government monitoring of e-mail and cell phones.

While this is not a majority, they must not despair, because there are wishes that can become true even if you are in the minority. It’s like becoming vegetarian or quitting smoking. You don’t need to wait for Congress to enact a law. You can start adopting the desired policies in your own life right away.

To those citizens who have spoken out for more surveillance, I suggest taking the following steps: 

  • Put together a list of all your login details and passwords for your e-mail account, your Facebook account, your online banking, your Amazon account, your airline, hotel and other travel sites, your libraries, your online dating profiles, your university account, your Couchsurfing profile, your Dropbox, your newspaper and magazine subscriptions, your Twitter account and send that list to the FBI, the Department of Homeland Security, your state police, county police, local police, campus police, ATF, Highway Patrol, DEA, Marshals Service, ICE, Secret Service, NSA and CTU.
  • Write down your cell phone numbers with the appropriate PIN and send that list to the aforementioned agencies, asking them to feel free to check your voice mail. Do not delete messages once you have listened to them, as others might still find them useful.
  • Let the aforementioned agencies know your WiFi connection and your password. If your WiFi is not strong enough for law enforcement to use it from the van outside of your house, prepare the extra bedroom for them and allow them to live with you.
  • Install cameras in your bathroom, kitchen and bedroom and stream the images online, so that all agencies can have real-time access.
  • Ask a police officer to accompany you all day, every day.
  • When you send or receive mail or e-mails, forward copies of them to the aforementioned list of agencies.
  • Never close the curtains.
  • Don’t wear any clothes. After all, you “have nothing to hide”, right?

You will notice that you will feel so much safer. If all of this won’t be enough, ask to be taken into preventive custody.

About Andreas Moser

Travelling the world and writing about it. I have degrees in law and philosophy, but I'd much rather be a journalist, a spy or a hobo.
This entry was posted in Human Rights, Law, Philosophy, Politics, Polls, Terrorism, USA and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to You want more Surveillance? You can have it.

  1. CLKeyes says:

    The word terrorism is thrown around so much that it is loosing it’s true meaning. Rather like the little boy who cried wolf. There is one side crying tyranny in this country, getting to fight for their guns, but not their freedom of speech or their rights to vote. They have closed their eyes and ears to “those liberals” and opened their arms to those whose insidious changes in our lives are creating the real terrorism.

  2. Robert says:

    The vast percentage of Americans believe in God, and since he is omnipotent and omnipresent, just put Him on the CIA payroll.

  3. I think the advantage of your mentioned procedure is that people don’t have to think form themselves anymore, everything will be done for them. If I remember well I’ve already heard of such systems! Have a thoughtful weekend.Best regards

  4. Jim says:

    Oh, but doing all that — making all those lists and sending all those emails — is just too much work for the 38%ers! Why can’t the government just do it for them without any effort on their part?

  5. Pingback: How different countries catch their “most wanted” | The Happy Hermit

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