Death at the Funeral: a Vicious Circle

Pope Shenouda III of the Coptic Christians died last weekend. On the next day, his body was put on display at the Coptic cathedral in Cairo, Egypt. Mourners overcrowded the cathedral and caused a stampede in which three people died.

Death is just another pyramid scheme.

So, one person dies and the next day, three people die at his pre-funeral ceremony.

If this continues at the same rate, the funerals of these three victims will cause 3 x 3 = 9 victims tomorrow. These 9 people will be laid to rest later in the week and 3 x 9 = 27 people will be crushed to death. And so on, and so on. Soon, mankind will become extinct. Or at least Egypt will.

I reckon if I get invited to a funeral, I will rather come up with a creative excuse and will stay away as far as possible.

But then I have always been wary about attending funerals ever since I saw the news about the Milltown Cemetery attack in 1988:

If I will ever die, please don’t feel compelled to rent a cathedral and pack it full of people.

About Andreas Moser

You will most likely find me in the forest, next to the lake, reading a book. Just follow the cigar smoke!
This entry was posted in Death, Egypt, Religion and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Death at the Funeral: a Vicious Circle

  1. Lillian Smith says:

    Andreas, since 2 more people are born each second then die (4 to 2) your calculations are just wishful thinking. If anything, humanity will become extinct throug over-reproduction,

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    • But as people spend more time at funerals, they will have less time producing babies. And that’s not even considering that they might not be in the mood to do so during the mourning period.

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  2. I’m with you – bypass the funeral, go directly to cremation, save the thousands of dollars. I want to have my ashes sprinkled over the control tower at O’Hare Airport in Chicago. I spent 20+ years having them spew jet exhaust over my various houses, I figure turnabout is fair play! :D

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  3. usrep says:

    don’t worry mr moser. when you’ll die no body would want to come to your funeral. we will all be celebrating with your wife in Hawaii.

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  4. In Holland, this (http://bit.ly/GHQnPJ) video has caused some unrest among (Dutch) Egyptians. It’s made by somebody working for the most populair television programme in Holland. He always makes fun out of important news items at the end of the program. I was wondering what you would think about it.

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